|image from here|
Because i just tired with everything now
With you guys who talked with fake smile behind me
With everything seems so high to reach, even i starting to run and jump as high as i can
Sometimes i just wanna be alone
walking below the rain, waiting the rainbow, even i know it was night
or just playing with drops from water cycle, which is salty, and maybe could make me sick after it
I just wanna go travel around the world
maybe alone, or with you, someone that i chose to be the one who saw my sleepy face
take a ton of photos, grab a smile of people and frame it, or maybe posting beautiful pictures in facebook and blog, which are make people envy and wish they could be there too
Sometimes i just wanna scream loudly, to the land without anyone else
To the sky with gray cloud, or to you, people who always being anyone else in front of different people
I just wanna drawing picture of tree, balloon, in my bedroom wall, doing crafty things whole day, maybe cooking something and look after kids in the orphanage, attending seminar about climate change, produce something from trash, learning photoshop a lot, saving for DSLR camera that i want the most, adopted one tree from gunung gede pangrango, make a simple project for earth, joining writing competition, anything else, i dont know how could i do everything that i mention above, i really wish i could, i just really need more time for me to be focus today.
oh God, what kind of blabbering is it?
i tired, really, with this learning time, and it almost the D day for the most precious time in my life, being the gate of my destiny, or maybe the hell of my suffer.
There's a lot of things to do. spinning around in my head, make me unfocused to study, oh God, i just tired with this. i got ridiculous nightmare, i forgot that Berilium is the amfoter substance, and could be solved after we add too much alkaline (one type of question in chemistry test), and i dream of substances analysis of Berillium the night after i do the test. Oh, pleassee!
huffftt, Oh God, i know You maybe tired with me, who always walk away, leaving You when i was happy and everything seems good to be true, and when everything turns bad, i'm crying whole night, praying with this cloudy eyes, hope that You never leave me alone. i just really dont know how i supposed to choose, i dont know what i'm saying now, i dont know what the destiny is, i'm far away from You know, i dont know how could reach Your hand and felt the same warm. God, its just too complicated to understand, and sometimes it was easy to know Your way.
I just tired.
I just, really need rest.
I just miss You, God.
Miss our moment together, in the edge of night and morning
God, please hold me tight
or I will fall, into the deepest craziness
Give me Your warm hug, and whisper that You always be there.
I miss u, my Lord, the most gracious, most merciful.
*Ya Allah, aku kangen, kangen cerita, kangen nangis karena senang, bukan karena sedih aja. kenapa rasanya hampa sekarang?